Dear Readers,
I feel like one of the largest reasons we get stuck and complacent in our own unhappiness is because we won’t actually admit that we’re unhappy. Or we’ll complain that we are but not have any drive to want something better for ourselves. Or maybe we don’t believe that we deserve better.
Whether it’s bad relationships or an unfufuilling career, many of us have experienced moments in life where we’re not satisfied. Not just because of a bad day or a period of time, but because we’re settling into a life that is below our wants and needs.
It’s hard to admit that we’re not where we want to be because then we’d have to change. Usually, the change is not an easy little thing that you just decide on one morning and never think about again. Change is a constant decision made by someone, and the trigger for it is usually the result of a lack of something felt beforehand.
I used to be the quietest person I knew, and I let people in as much as a brick wall would. There were plenty of reasons for it, but those aren’t the point of today’s discussion. The steps I took in changing that aren’t either. It was the acknowledgement that I had begun having as a 17-year-old girl. One in which I realized that I didn’t like the self-imposed isolation I had made for myself.
I had a best friend who I kept at a distance large enough that it would never truly let her in. The kind that would make it hurt less if anything happened. I also had little to no one else and wasn’t making very many attempts to gain them.
Today, I won’t be discussing the positives and negatives of being on the quiet side or how to get out of your own way. That will have to wait for a later time. Rather, I’d like to point out that all of this created a turning point.
Large or small, the problems that we face and struggle with won’t go away if we pretend they’re not there. My advice is NOT to sit in misery, but it is okay to admit that you’re unhappy. It’s okay to admit that you’re lacking something, either within yourself or your situation. How can we ever grow if we never find a reason to?
At 17, I realized that I had already started a pattern with approaching life and relationships that left me feeling alone and unfulfilled. I knew then that I wanted a change. My life didn’t transform right then and there, but at least I gained the self-awareness that made me want to pursue change. I also knew then that regardless of the lack of knowing how to change or the difficulty that change might bring, I would pursue it anyway.
So I ask you, what is your blind spot or possibly the very bright red spot that you’ve just been doing your best to ignore? At least admit to yourself that it’s there.
It seems like the easiest piece of advice, but it tends to be the scariest thing to follow through on. If we don’t know it’s there, then we don’t have to fix it. However, remember that just because you might not realize a gas leak has started in your home doesn’t mean that it won’t be just as or even more detrimental than if you did.
I wish you all luck this week, and I hope that if you listened to my spiel, you’re not too hard on yourselves. We all carry are own bucket of problems and issues, but we also usually carry the solutions as well.
-Sophia
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